Ive created a new blog, to focus on my whole life every aspect of it. Ive never loved or even liked myself, its let me first being a self harmer, and developing an eating disorder, there are countless friend and family issues i have as well.
1. Unfortunitely my ex….2. My weight 3. Im too fat4. Im ugly5. Im not worth love from anyone6. When might i find that one person who would no matter the cercomstance be by my side and be the one support system i really need without them leaving7. Lastly its a toss up between…….. what the fuck is wrong with me and when will i either be able to purge what i just ate or how long can i last without caving and eating something
Seven Things That Cross My Mind Alot
oh welll its been a while that i put full blame on my laptop lol. well ive managed to get a job which is amazing i can finally have money for the things i need. Ive kind of become friends with someone who has been my best friend for over a year again, only because (this is gunna get a bit complicated for most) her ex, whos my exs bestfriend snuck behind her back and started seeing another girl and left her only cause my ex has a hot new gf……. and my friend needed a friend and came running to me again.
Btw his gf is his hot new gf, he can screw around with, (which he did do the first time he met her my friend told me) he got the model like girl, the one who could fit into double zero jeans and be thinspo for us all and make me cry cause shes perfect and im not! cause if i was perfect he’d still be with me but is he? no! no he’s with the super skinny flawless girl he can look at with love, fuck all the time, talk to all the time and want for all eternity! and im the fat fucked up girl who cant do anything right, that he never loved he just lied to and used for sex who he never wanted to talk to or look at unless it was for me saying yes to sex and after that with the lights off! and all i want is to be gone for eternity……..
I hate this, like i mean i know i think ive lost like maybe 10 pounds this summer which is pathetic cause ive weighted less than i weigh now! but trust me as i go through this last year of high school, im making it a loss of hopefully 50 pounds that ive lost a year from now it’ll be hard as hell, but i want and need him to see the girl he gave up on as perfect and trust me im not just doing this because of him, im doing it for me, itll be one of few i do for myself. The best part is, is the part time job will help me with not eating :) soo thats good and im thinking about dance classes soo that’ll help with the burning of the calories if i do eat and cant purge.
well good luck to everyone who follows me :)